The right to be adopted

Two weeks ago we celebrated Christmas. It is a celebration of the birth of a baby that dates the beginning of the modern era. A baby, if we read the Gospel message literally, adopted by Joseph, Mary's husband. The most famous adoption in history, associated with a birth that has been celebrated for more than 2,000 years, can be a cause for reflection on adoption itself.

In 2024 civil unions will most likely be introduced in Poland. The next step, for which we will have to wait a little longer, will be the introduction of same-sex marriage. This change will inevitably open the public debate on adoption. The experience of other similar polemics in Poland and abroad indicates that this dialogue can be very emotional, polarizing part of society and making the rest of the public aware of the uncertainty of their own opinion. This is a second reason to rethink and rework the adoption issue today.

Currently, the adoption of children is captured in the public debate in the category of "right to adopt." However, this is the wrong linguistic, ethical and practical way to frame and approach this topic. No one should have a "right" to adopt children. One can have the right to buy an apartment, a car or a dog. But one should not have the right to adopt, which, put in this way, sounds like the right to de facto acquire another human being - in this case, a child - for free.

We should replace the right to adopt with the right to be adopted. The right to be adopted by a couple of people who give, if not a guarantee - because there is never 100% of that - then at least a strong indication that they are a stable couple who will surround the adopted child with love and care.

In 2022, as many as 16,572 children were in institutional foster care in Poland. More than 70% of them were older than 10, which results in a lower chance of being adopted. In recent years between 2,500 and 2,900 children a year have been adopted, nevertheless the number of children in orphanages is slowly increasing, despite the fact that the goal should be the opposite. Upbringing in institutional foster care should be the last resort, as children growing up in institutions are more prone to addictions, conflicts with the law, etc.  They are also more likely to need psychiatric care. The 1989 UN Convention on the Rights of the Child states in its preamble that "a child, for the full and harmonious development of his personality, should grow up in a family environment, in an atmosphere of happiness, love and understanding."

Starting from this point of view - the right to be adopted by a couple who will love me (the adopted child) - we can change the perception of adoption in the public debate by 180 degrees. First, we put the child at the heart of the process as a subject rather than an object of the law. Second, we remove, or at least reduce, the much more drastic polarization that the aforementioned discussion may cause in the future. Instead of deliberating about the rights of adults, we place the welfare and interests of the child at the heart of the matter. The right to grow up in a family that surrounds them with love.

The right to be adopted does not preclude prioritizing heterosexual couples in the adoption process. It does, however, make it possible to save children for whom the alternative to a loving family with two same-sex parents is to remain in an orphanage. If we look at adoption from the perspective of the child, rather than adults fighting political battles, there is no doubt that it is better to grow up in a loving and stable family than to grow up alone in an institutionalized environment.

This is not a change that will happen quickly. However, we should start today the discussion on changing our approach to adoption as something we have a right to. The right to be adopted by a loving family will put the rights and well-being of the child first.